Why Do We Sabotage Our Own Self-Care?

A very common cause of emotional and psychological distress, the self-saboteur mode...... Rebecca Pearce explores some of the reasons behind this phenomenon

Yes, yes, we all know we need to "look after ourselves", but why is it so hard? 
Self-care is a phrase that is thrown around A LOT nowadays. But what is it? Why is so important? And why is it so hard to implement? Well, let's start off by saying that self-care doesn't have to involve anything fancy or extravagant, like a week-long tropical holiday (although we would take that!). In fact, the best self-care tip I will provide is to choose SIMPLE things that you can easily and consistently build into your daily routine. 

• Try to implement one or two simple self-care actions at a time. Try to consistently do these and habits can be formed. The aim is to begin to create self-care routine WELL BEFORE you start to feel stressed, run-down and burnt-out. If you already feel this way, don't despair, just start now :)
• If self-care is a foreign concept to you, here's some ideas to think about to get that self-care ball rolling!   What activities gave you pleasure when you were younger? Music, drawing, walking, riding, reading.....? If you don't do any of these now, reintroduce one or two & allow yourself some down time. Give yourself permission to re-connect to your inner child and remember what it was like to have fun for the sake of having fun!
• Become aware of the excuses that prevent you from practicing self-care. "I have no time, it's too hot/too cold, the kids won't like it, I have to do X,Y,Z first". Some of these may be true, but sometimes they aren't. Become aware of these excuses and really challenge them. How true are they RIGHT NOW? Can I make tweaks in my daily routine to allow me time and space to practice self-care? Are they REAL barriers or self-imposed barriers, created by your mind to self-sabotage yet again?.

• Be mindful of who you are spending time with. Do they fill you with energy or make you feel drained? Spend time with those that lift you up and be choosy about who you surround yourself with. These are the people that reflect the way you perceive yourself, your potential and your self-worth.
• Become aware of what you really value in life & begin to say "no" to activities that are no longer in line with your values. Become clear about what REALLY matters to you, examine whether you are living your best life in accordance to what makes you feel good and proud. Listen to your intuition for clues that you are living according to your values. If there is no resistance, you feel good and proud, there is emotional freedom during and after your actions, and you would be pleased for people to remember you in that way, you are probably on the right track.
• Take a break and spend time in nature but remember, it doesn't have to be a full day trip (although this would be perfect!). Research findings support the health benefits of spending time in nature. Lower blood pressure, better sleep, calmer feelings, reduced heart rate. We are blessed living in Melbourne with a beautiful bay, gorgeous sandy beaches, rivers, hills, mountains, parks and gardens. We have very delineated, and equally beautiful, seasons to enjoy year round and most communities have natural recreational areas to use.
• If transport is an issue, your own garden, front step or nature strip can suffice. You can gaze at the sky, breathe in the fresh air, observe the gentle swaying of a tree. If you can feast you eyes on a sunrise or a sunset even better. Star and moon-gazing can be revitalising, humbling and free. It might surprise you how the beauty of your natural surrounds can positively influence your mindset and emotions. Just take the time to stop and time yourself out.

• Bathing, showering and swimming in water can be soothing & calming to the nervous system for many people and can help to relieve tension. Local pools, hydro baths, ocean, rivers, personal baths. Even washing your hands or face and feeling the flow of the water running over them can help you feel more settled if you require a quick fix. Focusing on the feelings of the water and imagine any negativity flowing away.
• Create a space that feels calming & peaceful in your own home. Use lighting, music, texture and smell. Get out your good candles, scents and moisturisers. Use the speciality tea in your beautiful tea-pot and favourite mug. Spend time enjoying the space you have created thinking, processing, reflecting and relaxing.
• Be mindful of the media you view. Consume articles that spark joy, inspiration and positive feelings rather than fear, anxiety & sadness. We are exposed to media from every part of the globe and we can often feel like these catastrophes are our own. We may be safe but we feel unsafe because we bear witness to the ongoing horrors of humanity played out in front of our eyes via media.

• Consume foods your body deserves. Care for your body, treat it with love and respect and it will reward you accordingly. Try to choose more whole foods, food that are unprocessed and as close to natural as possible, increase your intake of fruits and vegetables, waters and healthy fats.
• Develop a relaxing bedtime routine and be strict with it. Sleep disturbance can impact on mental and physical health, hormone production, cognitive function, clarity of thought, reduce mood, increase irritability, depression, anxiety and irrational thinking. Have a look at implementing healthy sleep hygiene.
• Try to intentionally disconnect from electronic devices as often as you can. They can suck your energy and time, disengaging you from spending time doing things that will otherwise enhance your life. Spending too much time on your device can lead to reduced physical activity, social interaction, sleep disturbance, anxiety and feelings of overwhelm. The types of media you are consuming can also add to the impact (see above note).

I could go on and on but I hope these ideas have given you some inspiration to implement some self-care, nourishment and healing in your life. We only have one body, one mind, one life and it is my passion to help others live it to their fullest potential.

Good luck creating your self-care habits and remember that behaviour change can take time so take one step at a time. Make a decision to treat yourself well, avoid burnout and ENJOY LIFE.

P.S. If you need some help creating self-care in your life please know that this is what we do. We help people change, grow and live their best lives every day. Get in touch with us at admin@berwickpsychologyandhypnosis or call 0477 516 777